webshit weekly

An annotated digest of the top "Hacker" "News" posts for the third week of January, 2019.

DuckDuckGo will use Apple Maps
January 15, 2019 (comments)
Some webshits change teams, and the Hackernews partisans gird their loins to take part in the unending war between Apples and Googles. Some hippies organize an OpenStreetMap drum circle and whine about bicycles. Five hundred comments are fired in anger, with the net result of nobody noticing, including Apple, Google, or OpenStreetMap.

John C. Bogle Has Died
January 16, 2019 (comments)
A rich person has passed away, and so Hackernews spends an afternoon complaining that the deceased wasn't rich enough to respect, or else marveling at the seeming impossibility of a rich person somehow failing to be a complete asshole. No technology is discussed.

My dog was killed on a walk with a walker ordered through Wag
January 17, 2019 (comments)
A Facebook reports that a stranger got a pet killed. Hackernews decides that a software company can make process changes to keep dogs from dying. Some Hackernews suggest maybe checking ahead of time to see if you're handing your dog to someone with a track record of not killing dogs, but this idea is dismissed as wasteful luddite nonsense. Hackernews digs up similar stories of phone app vendors not giving a shit about their customers or employees, and much outrage is expressed. Despite the fact that "not giving a shit about customers or employees" is the founding principle of the gig economy, Hackernews thinks these problems can all be solved with fatter databases.

I interviewed at six top companies in Silicon Valley in six days
January 18, 2019 (comments)
A peon shares tips on how best to groom yourself for acceptance into the Bay Area Exploitation Preserve. Hackernews debates whether or not doing tricks for your prospective masters is a good career move. An entire comment thread is devoted to Hackernews helping each other learn the specific dances favored by a desired fiefdom. Another thread attempts to discern whether Facebook is the savior of human relationships or the harbinger of civilization's doom.

Netflix claims Fortnite is now a bigger competitor than HBO
January 19, 2019 (comments)
A gaming webshit is excited that a Netflix financial document mentioned a game. Hackernews loves working for Netflix but can't make a decision regarding its product. Several hundred comments wrestle with whether to regard Netflix as the savior of human relationships or the harbinger of civilization's doom.

When hiring senior engineers, you’re not buying, you’re selling
January 20, 2019 (comments)
A blogspammer wants to sell a book. The Hackernews Beauty Pageant Gold Medalist arrives to tell everyone how to hire people, and the few Hackernews who aren't so sure this person's individual experiences generalize flawlessly are chided for breaching the social contract. The fact that the Gold Medalist's advice focuses on overcompensating for being a credulous dolt is nervously overlooked by the fandom. Nobody has anything useful to contribute to the discussion, but the allure of talking to the Gold Medalist is sufficient to ensure that two-thirds of the comments are descended from that initial Papal Bull.

Bed that saved me from the Taliban
January 21, 2019 (comments)
An airplane pilot recounts the story of suriving a military engagement by hiding from the bad guys until they were killed or driven away, which is easily the best possible plan short of just not being in Kabul. One Hackernews recommends psychotropic drugs as a substitute for combat in the pursuit of clarity. The rest of the comments are water-cooler conversation about how amazing the story is. No technology is discussed. Personally, shit like this is why I stay at the Serena.