webshit weekly

An annotated digest of the top "Hacker" "News" posts for the second week of July, 2017.

Photos of Mosul 2017
July 08, 2017 (comments)
An internet posts some pictures of war. Hackernews is primarily concerned with whose fault war is, but not to the degree that they can't take some time to shit on the quality of the photos, the intentions of everyone involved, and the person who took the pictures.

24-core CPU and I can’t move my mouse
July 09, 2017 (comments)
An internet debugs some shitty software. No solutions are forthcoming. One Hackernews goes on a completely unrelated rant about other shitty software, which prompts an explosion of unrelated garbage from uninvolved onlookers. The rest of the comments are people telling each other to buy Apple products, since those are infallible.

Taking control of all .io domains with a targeted registration
July 10, 2017 (comments)
An internet notices that a top-level domain is run by cretins. Hackernews points out the United Kingdom is morally reprehensible, then daydreams about using this sort of administrative vulnerability to defraud people on the web. Naturally, the weapon of choice would be Let's Encrypt. Someone mentions that several other ccTLDs got burned as well, reinforcing the fact that everything except .com will forever be a second-class citizen.

Battle for the Internet
July 11, 2017 (comments)
Some internets attempt to fight lobbyists. Hackernews debates why and invents six thousand inaccurate analogies to explain the situation. One Hackernews gets angry that the topic of discussion focuses on America, as though anyone gives a shit about network policies anywhere else.

Net Neutrality Day of Action: Help Preserve the Open Internet
July 12, 2017 (comments)
Google would like the government to protect its ability to monitor all humans equally. Hackernews recommends that Google quit fucking around and openly dictate government policy. The usefulness of a nuclear second-strike capability is debated for some reason. The rest of the comments are armchair quarterbacking the entire concept of network neutrality.

Toward Go 2
July 13, 2017 (comments)
Lifetime Bell Labs intern Russ Cox promises that the boss will care more about your opinions. Hackernews threatens to shoot down the International Space Station unless someone brings them generics. The Rust Evangelism Strike Force circulates plainclothes agents in the crowd to disperse pamphlets.

Redis 4.0
July 14, 2017 (comments)
An over-engineered data cache receives further overengineering. Lots of noise occurs about "clustering" and "distributed". The cache now officially supports the Raspberry Pi -- and since the Redis developers are still not aware that processors can have more than one core, running it will not affect the real databases you run with the rest of your CPU. Hackernews spends all day bickering about the use of the term 'slave.' Again.